Monthly Archives: February 2015

Good parenting…Mirage or Miracle??

Parenting for human babies is what allows them to survive…unlike most other creatures on this planet, we nurture, protect and nourish our helpless young from the moment they enter the universe, bawling and unfit to survive on their own, A majority of us think we are doing it better than all the others!!!!! What constitutes good/ great parenting???? Is there a cultural/ regional/ racial difference? Or are there certain Universal guidelines??? Whoever knows can enlighten us, I sure as hell cannot say I am an expert. How do you decide whether or when to be a Darling or a Dragon??? For simplicity, since I have a son, I will refer to the child as ‘he’….Here is what seems to work for our family:

  1. Never compare your child to someone else’s child….what if the child says he wants some other child’s parents??? None of us are perfect, do not expect perfection from the child
  2. “Do your best” was what our parents said to us, it implies that the child is making the best effort he can….that should be more than good enough for you
  3. Do not abuse a child….verbally, physically, emotionally, sexually……….that is the least we can do, we owe our child that…the child did not submit an application to be born in our home, we made that decision
  4. Protect the child from abuse by others…one cannot be overcautious when it comes to abuse…look out for signs of abuse, be aware that it is a global curse, if it happens, do what it takes to ensure the child is reassured and heals without thinking it is his fault, get the offender punished. Educate the child about abuse, without scaring him
  5. Give the best of facilities and support that you can….guidance is a must, there is a fine line between pushing your child and guiding him….do not cross that line
  6. Plan activities that the child enjoys….sneak in stimulation of the body and mind while the child has fun
  7. Encourage good eating habits, but allow junk food occasionally
  8. Talk about the facts of life when he is ready…..allow him to talk about anything to you…..or he will talk to others who may mislead him. Be gentle, do not ridicule him
  9. Respecting his elders is important, teach by example
  10. Never differentiate between a girl child and a boy child
  11. Give age-appropriate freedom, while watching over him. There is a distinction between protecting and stalking……..talk to your child often, letting him let you what goes on in his peer group and his life. Do not be quick to denounce or judge whom he interacts with
  12. Encourage him to bring friends home…it’s better than them hanging out at other ‘joints’
  13. Discuss all issues freely…..drugs, alcohol etc…..respect his queries and answer intelligently 
  14. Do not disrespect your spouse/ partner in front of your child. Do not criticize your partner behind his back, to your child
  15. From an early age, make him responsible for small chores like taking care of his clothes, shoes, room etc
  16. Do indulge the child by buying the best/ latest gizmos and gadgets as he learns from them. That cell phone could keep him safe…add features like ‘track my phone’ etc after discussing it with him
  17. When he is old enough, teach him to drive
  18. Respect for the other sex, domestic help is your responsibility, teach him well
  19. Non-violence and respect for humans and animals is a must
  20. Do not pester him to call or visit when he is away ……he will do all this if your home is a haven and a pleasure to visit………..                                                                                                It is an ever-evolving subject, a never-ending list. The acid test?? The child rushes to visit you, wants to talk to you when away…and trusts you enough to confide in you. Lead by example, he has been watching you since he was born……do not forget to tell him you love him unconditionally and are proud of him, make great memories with him 🙂

 

 


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If life gives you lemons….Rejoice :)

The lemon trees in our backyard are laden with lemons all year around. Lemons contain flavonoids, which have antioxidant and anticancer properties. The humble lemon has Vitamin C, Vitamin B and phosphorus, among other wonderful ingredients. From aiding in weight loss, to combating diabetes and hypertension, it is used for its anti-ageing properties as well. Studies have shown that it prevents the formation of renal stones, so it’s a win-win situation. The lemon blossom and lemon tree are pretty and smell wonderful 🙂

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The lemon juice is used as an antiseptic, for throat diseases, indigestion, metabolic disorders, for a glowing skin and healthy hair……there is an endless list of its value. Don’t wait, plant a lemon tree now, the lemonade in summer is cool and refreshing……


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Choose the people you want in your life

We are humans who need a variety of people in our lives, provided those people want to be a part of our lives and want us in their lives as well. How do we know we need certain people????? A healthy and positive interaction which is mutually enjoyable is a must. There are people who do not care whether you exist or not………..how do we know who wants to be in our lives?

  1. The person who returns your calls or calls you as much as you call them, to genuinely hear about your life and share their lives with you is a person you must stay in touch with
  2. If they do not return phone calls or call you on your birthday………….delete them immediately…..for the ‘memory challenged’ there are apps to remember the important events in your life, they just do not care enough
  3. If they go out of their way to help you with a relative who is ill, or look after you when you are not well……they are worth it
  4. If they take care to remember the food you like or what you like to be called or which movies you want to see……it’s great for you
  5. If they can reassure you when you are down in the dumps or make you laugh…hold on to them
  6. If they care enough to interact with your family or visit when you invite them and introduce you to people they cherish, they need you too
  7. If they can disagree with you or criticize you when you are on the wrong path….yes, they should be a part of your life
  8. If they can defend you to others, they have what it takes
  9. Asking for help from you shows they need you….and we need to be needed
  10. Being happy for an achievement of yours shows they do not feel envy and are proud of be your friend………….It’s a two way street, treasure people who like you and do not waste time running after those who do not care about you………………….:)

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Supporting a child through exams…thousands of miles away…

If you are lucky and your child is lucky, there will be a period of separation when he pursues a dream….a career, an education which requires him to be in another continent. Do you mope and miss them and whine about how he should be with you? Nooooo…..here’s what will make the experience amazing for the family……

  1. Remind yourself and the child about why he wanted to study in the particular university he has gained admission to, which seemed like a far fetched dream earlier….
  2. Do not pressure the child to talk to you 24/7…..he will call if you can make him smile and are not an emotional wreck
  3. Talk to him about inconsequential funny things that happen all around you, which you know he loves to laugh at
  4. Do not ask about his grades or studies, he will tell you once he realizes you are not overly pushy or stressed about the work he is doing or already stressed about
  5. Unconditional love and support is what you can give….tell him about your own college days if he wants you to reassure him that it is a tough time for all…
  6. Tell him to do his very best, as he will regret not having done his best, not because you will only be proud of him if he slogs
  7. Ask him to eat well and rest enough before an exam
  8. Tell him not to be intimidated by the tough curriculum, if it wasn’t strenuous, it would not be worth the separation….
  9. Studying after a little laughter and positive outlook helps you to retain more and be more confident of understanding a subject
  10. Tell him to tackle the most difficult subject first….tell him you are proud of him, no matter what grades he gets………as long as he is satisfied with the effort he has put in  To those whose child has exams….hang in, trust the child, help the child by making him laugh a little……………and be very grateful that his health is with him during this time….:)

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The common cold and sore throat can bring you to your knees…..

Ever scoffed at people with red noses and a hacking cough ? trust me, you do not want to do that…you could be the next victim. All it takes is a stuffy/ running nose to make you helpless. The itching in your throat and the irritation will not let you sleep at night. What can you do ? A specialist must be consulted for the appropriate diagnosis and treatment, in addition some home remedies and supportive therapy provide some relief

  1. Consult a specialist …..you maybe self diagnosing your ailment all wrong or treating it wrong
  2. Boil finely sliced ginger in water and add lemon juice and honey. The soothing effect allows you to gulp without pain
  3. Chew on a clove, slowly
  4. Eat spicy food..try it before you roll your eyes!
  5. Plenty of fluids are a must
  6. Rest…if you do not give your body some rest, the recuperation will be prolonged
  7. Gargle with warm water to which salt has been added
  8. Sip honey, slowly
  9. Lozenges 
  10. Keep yourself busy with a book or watching television, it helps to take your mind off the constant pain and irritation in your throat                                                                             Eat well, read , accept love and care….it doesn’t sound so bad now, does it ??? 

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