Category Archives: Here and There

We get used to accepting the crap that flies around us. It’s time to take notice, be aware, and bring about change. We also get used to hurrying, not looking around at the unexpected glory of our surroundings as we race to yet another destination.

Medical doctors do not like to hear these:

Just because we followed our passion and dreams and try our best to help the ill….does not mean that we are infallible and indestructible …..The large majority of patients I have seen have been wonderful and I am grateful for them. But there are others…..here is what people have said to me over the ages…..

  • How can you be Ill???? you’re a doctor!!!!!!
  • You are an ophthalmologist…hmmm…..so , I have this pain in my shoulder..!!!!!!
  • Why don’t you try herbs for healing cataract??????
  • Why were you on leave the last time I came for a consultation???
  • There is a Guru who heals by a touch…..
  • I just googled my symptoms, now tell me…
  • Why did you not ‘make’ your son a doctor???
  • I want your opinion on this prescription I got…..
  • Just explain what you study in Ophthalmology…..

And so on……

Apart from this, they expect us to be on duty 24/7, 365 days a year, for our whole lives!!!!

We are not supposed to party/ travel/ have a life….

We are supposed to answer ALL phone calls at all times of the day or night….

 


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The benefits of ‘maturity’

Oh, what a joy is an age that is beyond youth…..I enjoy the age where we have people elder than us and younger than us…some of the joys are:

  1. Being able to pretend you don’t remember someone or something
  2. Pretending you can’t life a heavy load
  3. Pretending you can’t read without your glasses
  4. Being abrupt and direct
  5. Laughing uninhibitedly and saying what you want 
  6. Dancing and singing in an extremely non-gifted manner ( by now, one knows that nobody is watching )
  7. Being the first on and the last off a dance floor!!!
  8. Getting drenched in the rain
  9. Wearing comfortable shoes and clothes ( yup, comfy is now a good word)
  10. Exiting whatsapp groups, blocking, stalking, talking ….

The list is endless, the joys are too….explore, indulge, work hard, play hard…..


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10 ways we annoy our child…..

Being a part of the human race, we want the best for our child….do we always go about it the right way, or does our approach become counterproductive???? Some of the things which annoy a child are talking about………….

  • The troubles we faced when growing up and how today’s children are so privileged
  • The achievements of other’s children…do we want to hear about the wonderful things other children’s parents do?
  • Future plans of the child, their aim in life
  • How they should not waste their time on the computer and other gadgets!!!! Can we set an example???
  • How their best BFF is not good enough for them
  • How junk food has ruined the world….errrr, lay off the fried stuff you love first
  • Their posture, attitude…..what about your own??
  • Lying…..haven’t we lied in front of them?
  • Your spouse in a negative way…..never involve the child
  • Work, job opportunities, how wrong their choice of a career is..they are under enough pressure                                       

What do we do??? We have to guide our child……let’s try to be appreciate of the effort he/she is putting into the curriculum. Lead by example by eating better, using your time with your family better, treating your spouse better, encouraging a dialogue instead of launching into a monologue. They are informed and may impress you with their point of view…….Encourage, support, monitor and be strict only when required.


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Dealing with toxic people

We all have them in our lives. They come in the form of acquaintances, relatives, colleagues or peers. One can not pay them back in the same coin of utter obnoxiousness, hence one has to devise unique ways of dealing with them. I’m not speaking of the run of the mill rude people who can be ignored easily. I’m speaking of the evil genius people who know your weaknesses and make sure they hit at a vulnerable place repeatedly till they elicit a response and then proceed to sermonize you on how to behave, loudly and publicly. These are the people who are there in your life and will be there for a long time. This is what works for me:

  1. Do not initiate a conversation. If they speak to you, pretend to listen carefully while you remember a favourite song that makes you happy.
  2. Smile at them, no matter how caustic their remarks. It annoys them to an extent that they will back off.
  3. Remind yourself that they do not matter to you, their opinion is of no consequence.
  4. Wear your favourite clothes, perfume, shoes, which you can think of when they spew their venom.
  5. Life is not long enough to pay attention to negative comments.
  6. Everybody can’t like you, accept it and don’t let it affect you.
  7. These people are important, they make the other people in your life extra special!!!!!!!!!!!!
  8. Do not argue with them.
  9. Act dumb, smile as if you do not understand the sarcasm behind their barbs.
  10. If nothing else works, think of them straining in the toilet, constipated. Never fails!!!!!!!!!!!            Life is too short, nobody can pull you down if you won’t let them. Stop trying to impress or care about people who can never be your well wishers.                                                                                                         IMG_5293

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Auntiehood Rules

No, you shall not, can not and will not call me Auntie…….if you fall into ANY of the following categories : ( if you do not have a weird sense of humour, please stop reading right now)!!!!

  1. If you are married…no matter how old you are
  2. If you have a child
  3. if you can vote
  4. if you can drive
  5. If you are educated 
  6. if you have/ had amazing parents
  7. If you do not know me personally–in real life
  8. if you and I are somehow connected only through social media
  9. If you have grey hair
  10. If any tooth has fallen out/ has a filling!!!!

Here is what you can call me…..Manisha, Doctor, Professor, Ma’am…..I have worked very hard to get where I am and am lucky to be old……………..I would rather celebrate that fact than be defined by it……….those who have known me in my childhood and youth…actually anyone..can call me Mini (my parents named me that, it was later used as a nickname)… I use the A word for people in my real life, whom I have known since childhood……Aunty M will be everybody’s Aunt if and when she has a grandchild……( subject to change)!!

 


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Sniffing a mate…..God ‘nose’ it’s true

Why do certain odors make us long for more, while others make us nauseous??? We use our sense of smell (one of our special senses) to sniff out a new perfume, roses, food, and…….a mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There have been innumerable reports about sniffing out a partner and the ‘compatibility gene’. There have been smelly t-shirt parties and our pheromones have been analysed in minute detail. The reason I thought of writing this is because it’s raining outside and I went out to get drenched and opened my nostrils wide to take in as much of the smell of wet earth as I could before my lungs became water-logged 🙂 

Smelly t-shirt ? yes, it is when a person wears the same t-shirt for 2-3 days, without ever taking it off. Alcohol, smoking, perfume or other odor-altering agents are not allowed during this period. The t-shirt is then put in a plastic bag, which is sniffed by the opposite sex to select a mate…………there appears to be a scientific basis for this. We have all heard of histocompatibility …the short arm of chromosome 6 determines whether you are attractive to another human being. People have been tested for mutual attractiveness. This test also tells us a bit about our origin, race and heritage.

Major histocompatibility genes (MHC) are actually used to find a perfect mate/ match!!! A match is no longer made in heaven, but in a laboratory. Welcome to the modern age of dating and mating, 

Throw out the deodorants, the fancy soaps and wear sweaty t-shirts ??? One good thing that comes out of this that smoking, alcohol should not be indulged in if you want your mate to sniff you out. Pheromones are secreted by us which ‘alter’ the behaviour of other living beings towards us…yes, they are being sold as a spray-on in tiny, expensive bottles.

One day they will find a way to allow others to sniff to sniff you over the internet 🙂 Those with huge noses, stop complaining, use them well. Meanwhile, I am stepping out to smell the wet earth again, after which I will enjoy my trip to the filling station as petrol smells awesome to me……..blame it on the genes 🙂 And think again before you casually remark to someone ‘You smell so good’……………………


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Prince of the Pond….Lotus and lilies

In a small village in Tamil Nadu, India, there was an enchanted lotus pond. It was always full of the most beautiful lotus flowers. The flowers were of a colour that had shades of pink, but when you looked closely enough, you could visualize a rainbow in it. There were a few water lilies too. The pond was by the side of a large tamarind tree. Once an elderly woman was passing by in her air-conditioned vehicle to go to an ‘important’ place. She happened to look at the pond and asked the driver to stop. Before she could be warned about the dangers of going into uncharted waters alone, she was at the steps leading down to the pond, taking pictures of the lotus and lilies like one possessed. There was not a soul in sight. She repeated the adventure the next morning, this time there was someone swimming in ‘her’ pond!!!! Before she could protest, the young man swam towards her and scooped up an armful of the most beautiful and precious lotus flowers and lilies and handed them to her, telling her it was a gift……..Yes, miracles and wonderful people exist in this world……a person who can make another smile has succeeded in the mission of life…..not too far away, there were a lot of prosperous people ‘meditating’ and enforcing ‘restricted entry’ into their premises, where appointments were sought,and too much time spent in the pursuit of that achieved by the ‘less privileged’ villagers close to them……..DSC04402 DSC04399 DSC04389 DSC04247 DSC04406 DSC04408

Try not to flock to places where enlightenment is being talked about….it is being practiced by some who do not preach about it………..


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Dealing with **** on social media

There is a huge advantage to dealing with **** on social media as apposed to real life…as long as you are not the kind to constantly video chat or send ‘those pics’!!! Then the **** has hit the fan…………

For those who feel ‘old’ women are not stalked/ pursued…..think again…..there are ‘fans’ of every person, big or small, beautiful or ugly, in every age group, in every region of the world…….we all have a formula for dealing with stuff…here is my way, I would love to learn what others do……here is what annoys me and what I do…..

  • Annoying, daily messages with flowers, etc etc from men (women have not done so, yet)………I am not anybody to you and you are not anybody who actually exists for me….I have removed the messenger on my phone..problem solved 🙂 There are some who feel middle-aged or over-the-hill women will be flattered easily…in a way, these messages of ‘extreme praise’ insult my intelligence…and looks! 🙂 
  • Sending only private msgs, attempting to call, whatsapp, etc…….sans ANY interaction on my wall….I have given my family my password and generally use social media in full view of my family, when we all catch up official/ personal work
  • Watching, lurking, never interacting…..it is polite to wish each other’s families when we put up a ‘brag post’ or a homecoming or birthday post….if the person is a prolific post-er, I get tired of the ha-ha, or the wow I keep putting on their wall in reaction to their clothes, food, home, kids, car, etc……if they never reciprocate….rejoice!!! you can let go, just un-follow them 🙂 
  • There are those who are inactive on social media, and those who are much older and those I know in real life…..I do not bear them any grudge…if they were to nuke all my posts …I would still respect them……
  • Family time begins….gadgets down, barriers down……………..have fun, everyone who has made it through this…..

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Siri-ously phone-y

Have you ever taken time to ‘speak’ to the voice in your phone??? Here is what Siri had to say…..the best/ worst/ most idiotic questions were answered with an icy cold tone…’I’m sorry Manisha, I can’t answer that’ ! I think I managed to annoy an automated answering service!


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Help a loved one with depression…..

A lot of people still feel that help should be sought only when a person is violent or exhibits suicidal or homicidal tendencies. All of us have felt low at some point in our lives…..if we were pampered and had an amazing childhood, being deprived of a bicycle or a special treat would be enough to cause a bout of sulking and ‘I’m not loved’ drama, which would end as soon as it had begun. Growing up makes us face the stress of living and earning our bread and the affection of a significant other. No matter how cynical we may act, we all know that love makes the world a happier place, but unrequited love has often pushed people over the edge. Whatever the reason, if a family member or friend is feeling low, here is what you can try to do…

  1. Read up about it, you will realise that it may not be in the person’s hand to ‘snap out of it’
  2. TALK, LISTEN, do not try to offer advice unless asked for
  3. Try to motivate the person to seek professional help, offer to find a good psychiatrist and go with them and assure them you will keep it a secret if they so wish
  4. Spend TIME with the person, pick up the phone when they call, be there
  5. Since it’s a loved one, you know what they like to hear, watch, eat. Organise a special evening for them at your home with their favourite movie, food and music
  6. Take them for a vacation to a quiet place, of their choice
  7. Talk of fun times and positive qualities in the person
  8. Get them to make a list of all that is good in their lives
  9. Pet therapy….if they love dogs, take a borrowed puppy to their home for a few hours
  10. Coffee and chocolates are generally mood elevators
  11. Wear bright colours and make the other person wear them too
  12. Private Karaoke and dancing for the two of you, sing and dance with abandon
  13. Ask them to do something for you, like paint a greeting card or iron or play a game, make them feel needed and get involved in a hobby
  14. Make them smile, even a false smile elevates the mood, laughing out loud helps
  15. Talk to their family and other loved ones and get a medical evaluation…..this can be life saving, even if the person resists initially, knowing that you will be there and discreet will encourage them to get help. Several diseases may manifest as a depressed state of mind.                                                                                                                        Help, don’t judge, my mother used to say ‘we are all sealed envelopes, we never know what is really going on inside a person’s body or mind’………every day that you can get out of bed on your own and manage a smile, help someone else to smile 🙂


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