Good parenting…Mirage or Miracle??

Parenting for human babies is what allows them to survive…unlike most other creatures on this planet, we nurture, protect and nourish our helpless young from the moment they enter the universe, bawling and unfit to survive on their own, A majority of us think we are doing it better than all the others!!!!! What constitutes good/ great parenting???? Is there a cultural/ regional/ racial difference? Or are there certain Universal guidelines??? Whoever knows can enlighten us, I sure as hell cannot say I am an expert. How do you decide whether or when to be a Darling or a Dragon??? For simplicity, since I have a son, I will refer to the child as ‘he’….Here is what seems to work for our family:

  1. Never compare your child to someone else’s child….what if the child says he wants some other child’s parents??? None of us are perfect, do not expect perfection from the child
  2. “Do your best” was what our parents said to us, it implies that the child is making the best effort he can….that should be more than good enough for you
  3. Do not abuse a child….verbally, physically, emotionally, sexually……….that is the least we can do, we owe our child that…the child did not submit an application to be born in our home, we made that decision
  4. Protect the child from abuse by others…one cannot be overcautious when it comes to abuse…look out for signs of abuse, be aware that it is a global curse, if it happens, do what it takes to ensure the child is reassured and heals without thinking it is his fault, get the offender punished. Educate the child about abuse, without scaring him
  5. Give the best of facilities and support that you can….guidance is a must, there is a fine line between pushing your child and guiding him….do not cross that line
  6. Plan activities that the child enjoys….sneak in stimulation of the body and mind while the child has fun
  7. Encourage good eating habits, but allow junk food occasionally
  8. Talk about the facts of life when he is ready…..allow him to talk about anything to you…..or he will talk to others who may mislead him. Be gentle, do not ridicule him
  9. Respecting his elders is important, teach by example
  10. Never differentiate between a girl child and a boy child
  11. Give age-appropriate freedom, while watching over him. There is a distinction between protecting and stalking……..talk to your child often, letting him let you what goes on in his peer group and his life. Do not be quick to denounce or judge whom he interacts with
  12. Encourage him to bring friends home…it’s better than them hanging out at other ‘joints’
  13. Discuss all issues freely…..drugs, alcohol etc…..respect his queries and answer intelligently 
  14. Do not disrespect your spouse/ partner in front of your child. Do not criticize your partner behind his back, to your child
  15. From an early age, make him responsible for small chores like taking care of his clothes, shoes, room etc
  16. Do indulge the child by buying the best/ latest gizmos and gadgets as he learns from them. That cell phone could keep him safe…add features like ‘track my phone’ etc after discussing it with him
  17. When he is old enough, teach him to drive
  18. Respect for the other sex, domestic help is your responsibility, teach him well
  19. Non-violence and respect for humans and animals is a must
  20. Do not pester him to call or visit when he is away ……he will do all this if your home is a haven and a pleasure to visit………..                                                                                                It is an ever-evolving subject, a never-ending list. The acid test?? The child rushes to visit you, wants to talk to you when away…and trusts you enough to confide in you. Lead by example, he has been watching you since he was born……do not forget to tell him you love him unconditionally and are proud of him, make great memories with him 🙂

 

 


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