Cuddly bundle of love is what you think of your child when you see him sleeping as a child. Slowly, this bundle of joy gets a personality ( most are born with it) and the struggle between loving, pampering and disciplining, inspiring, sermonising begins……
If you want to connect to your teen, you have to make the effort, as your parents did when you were a teen. A lifelong bond and mutual admiration is not unattainable, if you just remember how you were as a teen……Inhale, exhale, live and let live…………How ??? This works for me…..(I will use the terms ‘he/him’ for a teen as I have a son………
- Teenagers are better at handling gadgets and gizmos. Let your child choose the TV, phone, internet speed, computers, routers in your home and give him full access. Trust me, he will be a responsible internet surfer if you leave it up to him.
- Do not say ‘Net’ instead of internet…..it’s not cool.
- When you have a wifi that says ‘Captain Kirk’ or ‘Leviathan’, rejoice, he’s watching the TV serials you love.
- Watch TBBT with him. It’s awesome, sing the theme song together. ( of course, this can never be done publicly as he will disown you)
- Do not ask him about girls/ boys/ teachers. He will tell you what he wants to, when he wants to, if you do not probe. Don’t hold your breath though, you may have to wait for years, or eternity 🙂
- Ask him to make a schedule of relaxation and studies. He will go a great job if you don’t interfere, monitoring and discussing his schedule will be allowed by him if you allow him to give his opinion.
- If he wants you to read a Harry Potter at 13 or watch a science fiction movie, listen to him. You will enjoy it. In return, he will read the newspaper or a book of your choice.
- Tell him grades aren’t the best way to judge his knowledge, but till the universe comes up with a better way, he will have to do his best. Doing his best is all you want.
- According to your resources, make sure he has the best computer, gadgets. They motivate him to learn better. Devote time to go white water rafting, skydiving, snorkelling with him.
- Video and ps4 games can be good for him in moderation ( 1 hour a day if he concentrates on his studies the rest of the time) . Hand-eye co-ordination becomes amazing if he plays these games. He has to play outdoor games for a matching amount of time though.
- He should keep a note of what is spent on his games, how much he thinks is reasonable. Discuss finances, it helps him manage money better, now and later.
- Smile, hug him, tell him you are proud of him, every morning and every evening. He’s still your child.( again, never publicly)
- Introduce life lessons through stories, speak about your failures when you are gloating about your success.
- Never compare him with anyone else’s child.
- Teach him to respect his elders and be grateful for all he has. The acid test????? he will want to spend time with you. He will laugh with you and argue endlessly, because he respects your opinion. Enjoy these years, time is the biggest gift you can give each other…………………..There are no rules, make them up, but let them be mutually enjoyable. When you ask him to limit his internet surfing, lead by example.
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